Flaws and Curve Balls

Sometimes, when life throws you curve balls, you just have to dodge them as best as you can. A lot of the time you find that you can get out of the way right before that ball hits you square in the face. But there are those incidents when you make a little mistake, just a minor flaw in your judgment that lets that ball get you. One smack in the face and you’ve got a black eye as a result. The stinging pain stays for longer than it needs to, your eye throbs horribly and that bruise just isn’t pretty. You’re pretty much left with a choice of showing off that shiner or wearing an eye patch trying to be a pathetic pirate.

And it’s only after you get hit that you start thinking about the causes. What mistake did you make somewhere along the line? Where did you go wrong? You have to think hard, which makes your eye throb more, and retrace your steps up until the moment the ball hit you. And when you realize that mistake you hate yourself for it because you know it was completely stupid and that any normal person wouldn’t have done it that way.

But you have to truly think properly to know that “normal” people experience stupid things like that all the time. Everyone has a flaw, even if they try to hide it in sugar-coated glory.

I have many flaws, but I figured out that my biggest one is doubt. I doubt almost everything when I shouldn’t. Part of it is because my mom would always tell me not to expect things to go the way I wanted them to. The other part is because of my own insecurities. Yet… though I know that I shouldn’t doubt certain things, I find I can’t help it. In other words, I doubt the things that do not deserve to be doubted.

I don’t really know how to remedy the situation. It takes a lot to convince myself of something once my mind has been set on the exact opposite. I only hope that with a little help I’ll be able to stop myself from doubting everything.