Passion

Do you know what you want in life?

This is what I have been thinking about today. Life is so short and we only have one – so what do we plan to do with it? Do you live every day to the fullest or hide in a shell?

Do you have that one goal you want to achieve? I think I know what mine is. I mean, the majority of us have planned out the rest of our lives, created goals to reach and things to accomplish before we die. So many of us don’t though. We don’t have a Bucket List or anything. We have a small idea of what we want but we’re so unsure about it that we don’t plan on anything really happening. We doubt that we have our whole future ahead of us. What if we die tomorrow? It’s a frightening prospect.

This is probably the reason why I’m so impatient about everything. I don’t trust that the future will always be there for me. So unpredictable and foggy – how am I supposed to know that the road is ahead when all I see is a thick mist blocking my view? There are so many things I want to experience that I feel like there isn’t enough time. I mean, seventeen years of my life have already passed and what have I been doing? Lazing about and going to school.

That’s another flaw I have (referring to my last post). I am SO incredibly lazy that I don’t do anything. I watch TV, stay up late, laze around, be a vegetable. Yet I want to learn to play guitar and ukulele, become a better singer and dancer, and learn as many new things as I can. I want to think deeply about everything. I want to get my name out there as someone who is not good at something, but great.

Honestly, I’m about as great as Patrick Star from Spongebob. I’m fantastic at lazing about doing nothing. And I want to be great at whatever I put my mind to. I know it will take work so I need to get off my lazy ass and do it. I don’t have enough passion to really do anything. I’m not even sure if my passion is singing. I’m still kind of finding myself, you know? Trying to figure out exactly what I want.

Despite this, I do know one thing. My biggest goal, my most important one, is to become a mother. Ever since my brother’s wife had her first child I have wanted to be a mom. I want to know what it feels like to create something so unbelievably beautiful, to be tied so immensely to another human being. Now I know this goal will happen eventually, so for now I can wait on it and experience everything else I want to experience. But that is my ultimate goal in life.

Other than that, everything else is simply small interests I have. I still want to be great at them and be passionate about them.

But I’m curious…

What exactly is it that you want in life, reader? What are your passions and goals that you would be willing to put your 10,000 hours into?