I think I might die from the level of stress now currently on my shoulders. I'm going to be graduating in a month and a half, and the next two weeks are going to be filled with preparing for Senior Project Presentations, homework, testing, and finals. The anxiety filling my stomach is making me sick and I consistently feel like screaming. At the same time, I have to balance out those feelings with an intense focus on my homework, so I don't let Senioritis plague me. It came for one week before I quelled it with what might I had, so that it wouldn't come back again.
The problem now is that my classes have gotten so repetitive. That seems to be a theme for me this week. For example, during English, three minutes seemed like fifteen. The closer we get to AP Testing the more my classes focus on preparing. I have four AP classes (five if you count third block of core) and I only have six classes. And choir isn't getting any more interesting because we keep working on the same exact pieces of music over and over again, trying to clean them up and get our pronunciation/enunciation down pat. Even dance has gotten boring, because we continuously go over the same dance, cleaning it up, making moves sharper and bigger, etc.
I feel I'm on an endless cycle, only the closer it gets to graduation the more that cycle starts to unravel and reality sets in. I'm trying to take one day at a time, but it's so difficult when I keep thinking about the future... I mean, I just had to read all of the Housing Regulations and stuff for SSU today so my dad could make the first payment on my dorm.
I'm absolutely terrified of going off to college and leaving all of my friends behind. I don't feel I'm ready to start my life on my own. And yet the excitement of being away from parents and being able to make my own decisions without some type of guidance makes me want graduation to come faster. Right now... I just want time to stand still so I can take a deep breath, let myself relax, and get my priorities reorganized.
Life isn't letting me have that little moment though, so I have to make do. Thank God for TV... Though it's a huge distraction it helps me relax. Now I wonder if I should work on chapter twenty seven notes or just enjoy the night.
While working on notes would be useful, enjoying the night sounds much more appealing. Well, I'll decide later. Toodles.
I can't make the decision for you, because sometimes you really need to focus and sometimes you really need to relax. For you, you are almost always on top of your work, and even though it may not feel like it because of the stress on your shoulders, you are still keeping up with everything pretty well.
ReplyDeleteNow it comes down to: do you feel like you could still get your stuff done in reasonable time if you took a break now? If so, then go ahead, because sometimes taking a break is something you really need to re-energize yourself and get yourself psyched up again to finish the stuff you need to get done.
Just try not to fall into the cycle of ALWAYS relaxing and never working (it's really easy to do).
Hope this helps a little! :)
Leaving high school and friends is scary, and it is okay to be unsure. But you are an awesome person, and I know you are capable of so much. Even if you are not with us all the time we are all rooting for you. :) live for the moment at become the best you can be
ReplyDeletewe love you :D