Okay, so I'm going to do a quick over view of everything that happened since Thursday.
Thursday
In the morning I went to the bank with my dad to get my first ever debit card. They're going to mail it within a couple days, but I got it for New York and then when I go off to college. I felt older.
By the time we were done though I only had an hour before I had to go to school, so instead I called in sick and went shopping with my mom to get me a jacket. We went everywhere and finally decided on one from I think Macy's or JC Penny's. I can't remember which.
We got home at around three o' clock and I fell asleep for about two hours. I spent the next hour getting fully awake, and then I started studying for my bio and history tests that were on Friday. Raina helped me study for bio, and we took two hours, and by the end of it my brain was totally fried. I couldn't even study for history 'cause I was so out of it. I ended up just going to bed. So yeah, Thursday wasn't all that interesting.
Friday
I tried to be fashionable again. I wore my black turtleneck sweater, jeans, boots, and my new jacket. People complimented me on how I looked and it made me happy. I had history first, which honestly sucked because I was so tired and I had to take the test I didn't study for. Thankfully it was only thirty questions long, but we had to set up a DBQ as well so.. It just wasn't fun.
English was all right, though I was still tired. We annotated a poem and did a little quiz.
Third block, I have to say, was the worst. We watched a video about post Civil War and freedman. A fourteen year old black boy born in Chicago was taken to Mississippi by one of his relatives where he was beaten and murdered for whistling at a white woman. The people who did it dumped him in the river and a couple weeks later some other guy found him with a gin fan tied around his neck with barbed wire. Pictures of his body were shown: he was completely mutilated; one of his eyes was out of its socket, his nose had been broken in multiple places, he was completely swelled because of the water.. I almost started crying because it was so bad. I can't even comprehend how people could do such a thing to another human being. The boy was only fourteen years old! And I remember his name was Emmett Till.
After that terrible movie, I trudged over to fourth block to take my bio test. This wasn't fun either because I had developed a pounding migraine. My head hurt so badly. However, I got a B on the multiple choice, and I think I did okay on the short answer question so maybe hopefully I got a B on the test altogether. But, knowing me, I probably got a C.
Today
Today I did absolutely nothing. I was going to work on my Senior Project, but when I finally got around to it my mom told me that we had only forty dollars in the bank, so I told her I'd wait. Which is fine, because I'm lazy anyway. Besides, I got to invite Alexa over. All I did today was watch TV, sleep, and go online and do nothing. That's how much of a lazy bum I am.
So that's the past three days in a nut shell. Toodles.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Oh, Wednesday...
I woke up at eight this morning since it was a minimum day and actually tried to look nice for school. I don't know what provoked me to do so, but I put on a little make up (not what I usually wear for special events) and wore my brown turtleneck sweater with the scarf Becca's mom made and my mom's new boots that kind of squished my toes. I still had my "homeless person" jacket, but soon I'll have a new one that looks a little better.
My mom dropped me off at school (excited that I was wearing her shoes and wanted a pair of my own) and I walked to the AP rooms. It was then that I realized I hadn't studied at ALL for my vocab test, though I had made flashcards the night before. It was okay though, because I managed to memorize them enough for the test. I got an A, much to Danielle's dismay. She had studied two hours the night before and even woke up at three in the morning to study. I told her that's probably why she isn't getting the words very well. Sleep helps.
Although I don't really want to talk about the rest of my day, I might as well go through it so that whoever reads this won't get mad at me.
History went by really fast because we had notes and my teacher wanted to get through them all so he wouldn't have to do them during third block when we were going on our bookwalk. We have a test on Friday that I'm not looking forward to.
Third block was the most fun, though I spent the majority of it alone. Danielle and Megan sped off toward the bookstore so they could get there sooner, but I decided to take my time and enjoy the walk. Nowadays people don't seem to appreciate the finer things in life -- they're always in a rush to get things done. I didn't want to do that. After we got the book we're going to read (Macbeth) I went to Pohleys (sp?) and got a huge monster energy drink. This thing has about four servings and a LOT of sugar.
My teachers were glad they didn't have me for fourth block.
In bio we took notes on DNA/RNA and our homework is to study for a test that's also on Friday that I'm not looking forward to. Everyone told me I was going to regret drinking that huge monster, but I'd already decided to share it with Daniel, who I knew would love me very much for it.
After school I headed to the band room and before school was even out he rushed to the door to have a sip. Well, not a sip -- it was more like chugging it down. He drank more of it than I did. The result was insane. He was very hyper and practically shaking, apparently. I roll my eyes at him.
I got home after my brother picked me up (though he forgot and my mom had to call him) and I helped my mom watch the two babies a little, then went upstairs and took a nap. I was so tired that I ended up sleeping until I had to go to dance, which didn't take very long, thankfully. We're learning a new routine that's pretty cool but fast. So far I've been getting it and I'm trying to go full out every time. Afterward I felt as if my legs would collapse. We also had this like, ab workout where we all got in a circle and did sit-ups and whatnot. I really like it.
I texted Doran meanwhile and he was getting me worried. Earlier during school he texted me and told me that he had fallen asleep early last night because he felt sick. And he had to go to the doctor for a checkup, but part of me feels like he's hiding something.. I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining things.
All I know is that he's really worrying me and I don't want to tell him how I feel because I don't want to worry him or keep him up late or anything because I know he gets sick from lack of sleep. At the same time though I really want to talk to him and just spend time with him but I can't because he's busy and I don't want to be a bother, but when there IS time I'm the one doing something or other so we haven't been able to talk... He told me he has Friday off but I don't so I'll be at school and I don't know if he'll text me because his phone has been dead and he hasn't charged it and I've sent him a lot of texts and I worry when he doesn't answer. I have to ask Sheldon if Doran even has his phone because I start to think that maybe he's ignoring me -- and then I find out that it's just dead and I wonder why he hasn't charged it yet. Plus, I think I might have gone over my texting limit..
Doran doesn't realize how much I worry about him. I want him to be happy and healthy, and when he's not I start to freak out. I know he needs sleep to function. When he doesn't he gets sick, like nauseous and dizzy... I'm afraid he'll end up in the hospital or something if he keeps this up... Plus, he turns into a different person. He's more cranky, irritable.. and sometimes not nice. I don't know, it just gets to me when he's like that. I worry enough about him as it is, and when he's like that I work myself up to tears. Combined with the fact that I want to spend time with him.. It's just not pretty.
I know he's going to read this at some point and feel terrible for all of it. I don't want him to feel that way, which is why I'm not telling him this directly. I might not tell him that I posted, just so when he finishes his homework he'll just go straight to bed.. As much as I'd like to talk to him after he's done, I won't risk it.
Well, sorry about my pathetic/depressing rant. I hope it didn't put a damper on anyone's day. Toodles.
My mom dropped me off at school (excited that I was wearing her shoes and wanted a pair of my own) and I walked to the AP rooms. It was then that I realized I hadn't studied at ALL for my vocab test, though I had made flashcards the night before. It was okay though, because I managed to memorize them enough for the test. I got an A, much to Danielle's dismay. She had studied two hours the night before and even woke up at three in the morning to study. I told her that's probably why she isn't getting the words very well. Sleep helps.
Although I don't really want to talk about the rest of my day, I might as well go through it so that whoever reads this won't get mad at me.
History went by really fast because we had notes and my teacher wanted to get through them all so he wouldn't have to do them during third block when we were going on our bookwalk. We have a test on Friday that I'm not looking forward to.
Third block was the most fun, though I spent the majority of it alone. Danielle and Megan sped off toward the bookstore so they could get there sooner, but I decided to take my time and enjoy the walk. Nowadays people don't seem to appreciate the finer things in life -- they're always in a rush to get things done. I didn't want to do that. After we got the book we're going to read (Macbeth) I went to Pohleys (sp?) and got a huge monster energy drink. This thing has about four servings and a LOT of sugar.
My teachers were glad they didn't have me for fourth block.
In bio we took notes on DNA/RNA and our homework is to study for a test that's also on Friday that I'm not looking forward to. Everyone told me I was going to regret drinking that huge monster, but I'd already decided to share it with Daniel, who I knew would love me very much for it.
After school I headed to the band room and before school was even out he rushed to the door to have a sip. Well, not a sip -- it was more like chugging it down. He drank more of it than I did. The result was insane. He was very hyper and practically shaking, apparently. I roll my eyes at him.
I got home after my brother picked me up (though he forgot and my mom had to call him) and I helped my mom watch the two babies a little, then went upstairs and took a nap. I was so tired that I ended up sleeping until I had to go to dance, which didn't take very long, thankfully. We're learning a new routine that's pretty cool but fast. So far I've been getting it and I'm trying to go full out every time. Afterward I felt as if my legs would collapse. We also had this like, ab workout where we all got in a circle and did sit-ups and whatnot. I really like it.
I texted Doran meanwhile and he was getting me worried. Earlier during school he texted me and told me that he had fallen asleep early last night because he felt sick. And he had to go to the doctor for a checkup, but part of me feels like he's hiding something.. I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining things.
All I know is that he's really worrying me and I don't want to tell him how I feel because I don't want to worry him or keep him up late or anything because I know he gets sick from lack of sleep. At the same time though I really want to talk to him and just spend time with him but I can't because he's busy and I don't want to be a bother, but when there IS time I'm the one doing something or other so we haven't been able to talk... He told me he has Friday off but I don't so I'll be at school and I don't know if he'll text me because his phone has been dead and he hasn't charged it and I've sent him a lot of texts and I worry when he doesn't answer. I have to ask Sheldon if Doran even has his phone because I start to think that maybe he's ignoring me -- and then I find out that it's just dead and I wonder why he hasn't charged it yet. Plus, I think I might have gone over my texting limit..
Doran doesn't realize how much I worry about him. I want him to be happy and healthy, and when he's not I start to freak out. I know he needs sleep to function. When he doesn't he gets sick, like nauseous and dizzy... I'm afraid he'll end up in the hospital or something if he keeps this up... Plus, he turns into a different person. He's more cranky, irritable.. and sometimes not nice. I don't know, it just gets to me when he's like that. I worry enough about him as it is, and when he's like that I work myself up to tears. Combined with the fact that I want to spend time with him.. It's just not pretty.
I know he's going to read this at some point and feel terrible for all of it. I don't want him to feel that way, which is why I'm not telling him this directly. I might not tell him that I posted, just so when he finishes his homework he'll just go straight to bed.. As much as I'd like to talk to him after he's done, I won't risk it.
Well, sorry about my pathetic/depressing rant. I hope it didn't put a damper on anyone's day. Toodles.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Busy Tuesday
So last night I had this crazy dream that I had telekinetic powers and at one point in my dream I was in an elevator with Angela, Robyn, Allison, and Chris and the elevator was flying down the stories of this skyscraper building we were in, and I used my powers to stop it just in time so we could escape. It was so awesome.. I wish the dream was real though.
Well, I woke up this morning very groggy and delirious, but I managed to get myself to the middle school for my senior project. I mostly observed the way Ms. Van taught the class and wrote a journal on what I witnessed. I like her teaching style, but she seemed a little cranky. Once the class was over I headed home because I was driving the van and my mom needed it. I wasn't really able to eat lunch because I had to help babysit before Nicole got home so my mom could take me to school. I made it early enough to hang out with my friends for a little bit.
When the bell rang I headed for math class. When I got there I plopped my backpack on my desk, unloaded my stuff, and right when I was about to put my backpack on the ground, a spider crawled out from underneath. I freaked out so bad that I jumped about half a foot back and screamed, "Oh my God, spider!!" I was terrified, but thankfully someone killed it for me. My teacher looked at me all weird and told me that my reaction wasn't beautiful, and I told her that I'm an arachnaphobic. Spiders really scare me.
Other than the spider thing, math went pretty well. I understood most of what Rosales was teaching. I hope I remember it all when I do my math homework tomorrow.
Choir wasn't so bad. We worked on sight singing, which is really funny since the middle schoolers are doing that too with Ms. Van. I'm glad for it though, because that'll help me when I get to college. We also worked on volume, which by far helped the most. Now I can hear the guys (especially Daniel, who's almost always on pitch despite the fact he sings through his nose) and we actually have a soprano section now. It's awesome.
Anyways, after school I had Chamber Singers till five and we got new music that I'm really excited about. I just hope we can get through it all. Then I rushed home and immediately started getting ready for the dance performance at the basketball game, and once I was finished I headed over to the school with my dad to a mandatory NY meeting which lasted longer than I anticipated. I actually had to leave early, dance, then come back. Our performance sucked, especially the line we're supposed to create at the end. It SO wasn't straight at all. Epic fail, really. The fun thing was that the crowd didn't even notice because they were so into the dance. I figure that's because they were all hyped up since we were winning against our rival, Healdsburg.
After that I came home and basically started on my AP homework, which I finished before doing this blog. All I have to do is study for vocab, which shouldn't be that difficult, but I haven't looked at the words for a while so I should probably go do that. Toodles.
Well, I woke up this morning very groggy and delirious, but I managed to get myself to the middle school for my senior project. I mostly observed the way Ms. Van taught the class and wrote a journal on what I witnessed. I like her teaching style, but she seemed a little cranky. Once the class was over I headed home because I was driving the van and my mom needed it. I wasn't really able to eat lunch because I had to help babysit before Nicole got home so my mom could take me to school. I made it early enough to hang out with my friends for a little bit.
When the bell rang I headed for math class. When I got there I plopped my backpack on my desk, unloaded my stuff, and right when I was about to put my backpack on the ground, a spider crawled out from underneath. I freaked out so bad that I jumped about half a foot back and screamed, "Oh my God, spider!!" I was terrified, but thankfully someone killed it for me. My teacher looked at me all weird and told me that my reaction wasn't beautiful, and I told her that I'm an arachnaphobic. Spiders really scare me.
Other than the spider thing, math went pretty well. I understood most of what Rosales was teaching. I hope I remember it all when I do my math homework tomorrow.
Choir wasn't so bad. We worked on sight singing, which is really funny since the middle schoolers are doing that too with Ms. Van. I'm glad for it though, because that'll help me when I get to college. We also worked on volume, which by far helped the most. Now I can hear the guys (especially Daniel, who's almost always on pitch despite the fact he sings through his nose) and we actually have a soprano section now. It's awesome.
Anyways, after school I had Chamber Singers till five and we got new music that I'm really excited about. I just hope we can get through it all. Then I rushed home and immediately started getting ready for the dance performance at the basketball game, and once I was finished I headed over to the school with my dad to a mandatory NY meeting which lasted longer than I anticipated. I actually had to leave early, dance, then come back. Our performance sucked, especially the line we're supposed to create at the end. It SO wasn't straight at all. Epic fail, really. The fun thing was that the crowd didn't even notice because they were so into the dance. I figure that's because they were all hyped up since we were winning against our rival, Healdsburg.
After that I came home and basically started on my AP homework, which I finished before doing this blog. All I have to do is study for vocab, which shouldn't be that difficult, but I haven't looked at the words for a while so I should probably go do that. Toodles.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Interesting Monday
I only got two hours of sleep last night so I'm very tired.
I had a full day today. I went to bed after three in the morning because Doran and I stayed up talking. I woke up around six thirty to take a shower, got my stuff and headed out. Because the truck still isn't fixed, my mom had to drive me to school and my dad to work.
School was kind of boring, but surprisingly I didn't fall asleep during class. Although, we did talk about a lot of interesting stuff surrounding family. I can't remember any details though, which kind of sucks. I think my memory cells failed me today.
At lunch I had dance in the gym, but we just marked our positions on the floor rather than actually dancing. I was glad for that since I was wearing boots. When I was back in the AP room with everyone else I started talking to Adam and Jon about some issues they were concerned about dealing with the school. One of the issues bothering Adam was the school dress code. He spoke of how cheerleaders, on game day, often wear their uniforms too short -- their skirts are several inches shorter than what the dress code calls for. I have to agree with this, because I've seen those cheerleaders and their skirts are so short that I can pratically see their hind end -- something I really wish was more concealed.
However, Jon pointed out that that issue was too small scale for it to be of any real importance to school authorities. So Adam instead proposed moving onto the next topic of discussion: school dances. He and Jon got very fired up about this, denouncing the school board for limiting school dances from around eight to only three. They want to start a protest in the school, first appealing to the masses for support and then heading over to the school board.
I would join them, but my cynicism of authority keeps me from doing so. I often assume that no matter what we try to do, those "higher ups" will always push us down and exercise their authority over us simply because they can. So I just stay out of it and go with the flow. Besides, I'm going to be leaving the school anyway, and if the newcomers want to deal with the issues we left them with then they can go right ahead and do just that.
Anyways, I'd have to say the most interesting part of my day was biology. After we graded our homework and took a few notes we watched a video about how DNA is being used to give African Americans an idea of their genealogy and where they came from. It's so amazing to think that we've come so far in science that we can now take a DNA sample and trace those genes centuries into the past. Some of the African Americans participating in this study (and in the movie) were Tina Turner, Chris Rock, Morgan Freeman, and Maya Angelou.
I sat at my desk, transfixed at what I was watching. To be honest I was shocked to find that most of the African Americans who did the DNA test had at least 1/3 European ancestry. Their reactions were most interesting, because it all came as a shock to them to know that they had so much white in them. Maya Angelou had by far been the most perceptive of her past. When the DNA test showed she was a Zole, she calmly stated that she had known this, and proceeded into a story of a trip to Africa she once took. The others, I believe, were simply glad to finally have a claim of African descent, to be able to say that they had an ancestor that truly did come from a tribe in Africa. I teared up at some parts, because I felt that this newfound knowledge was ruining so many things the testers believed in. Especially when they tested them for traces of Native American for the testers. A lot of those results turned out bad -- many of those who had believed they had Native American blood in them found out that they had zero percent. I was upset at the thought that the scientists who had done the DNA tests just ripped up the bulwark of beliefs in these people.
And then I thought, "What if I found out I actually wasn't Hawaiian? What if no one in my family is Hawaiian?" I couldn't help but let the thoughts ravage through my head. What if I actually had been lied to all my life? I know that I'm Hawaiian through my grandmother on my mom's side, but how far does that trace go back? Am I really related to King Kamehameha's eighth wife like my grandmother claims? All of these thoughts made me want to get myself tested, to find out my own genealogy.
To think that I actually can though, is quite frightening.
Anyways, after biology school was over and I immediately headed toward the front where I knew my mother was waiting in her van. She was eating a hamburger from McDonald's when I got inside the car and the smell of food made me realize just how hungry I was. She drove me t Carl's Jr. to get a guacamole burger. Our conversation on the way there provided some closure to some issues I was having that I hadn't quite gotten over.
It started off with my mother showing me her new boots (Uggs, in case you want to know) and she told me that I should get a new pair that are flat so I can wear them in New York. From there the conversation turned to what happened on Friday with our little shopping spree with Danielle and Alexa. I told my mom exactly what had been bothering me and why, by the end of it, I refused to shop any longer. I also told her that I would be willing to go shopping again if it didn't turn into an issue on my appearance.
I'm really glad I got that stuff into the open with her, because now I feel a whole lot better.
After we got my food she dropped me off at home and after I ate I went upstairs to get on the computer. Then I took a nap around five, hoping to get up at five thirty but sleeping until six thirty instead, then took another short nap before heading off to dance. Practice didn't last as long as it normally does because Sami hasn't completely finished the new routine so we could only learn a little of it, and we didn't really need to practice our current performance because we all knew it. Oh, which reminds me, I have to wear my uniform tomorrow.
When dance was over I came home, finished homework, and am now just relaxing before I fall asleep. I've got a big day tomorrow though, so I should go. Toodles.
I had a full day today. I went to bed after three in the morning because Doran and I stayed up talking. I woke up around six thirty to take a shower, got my stuff and headed out. Because the truck still isn't fixed, my mom had to drive me to school and my dad to work.
School was kind of boring, but surprisingly I didn't fall asleep during class. Although, we did talk about a lot of interesting stuff surrounding family. I can't remember any details though, which kind of sucks. I think my memory cells failed me today.
At lunch I had dance in the gym, but we just marked our positions on the floor rather than actually dancing. I was glad for that since I was wearing boots. When I was back in the AP room with everyone else I started talking to Adam and Jon about some issues they were concerned about dealing with the school. One of the issues bothering Adam was the school dress code. He spoke of how cheerleaders, on game day, often wear their uniforms too short -- their skirts are several inches shorter than what the dress code calls for. I have to agree with this, because I've seen those cheerleaders and their skirts are so short that I can pratically see their hind end -- something I really wish was more concealed.
However, Jon pointed out that that issue was too small scale for it to be of any real importance to school authorities. So Adam instead proposed moving onto the next topic of discussion: school dances. He and Jon got very fired up about this, denouncing the school board for limiting school dances from around eight to only three. They want to start a protest in the school, first appealing to the masses for support and then heading over to the school board.
I would join them, but my cynicism of authority keeps me from doing so. I often assume that no matter what we try to do, those "higher ups" will always push us down and exercise their authority over us simply because they can. So I just stay out of it and go with the flow. Besides, I'm going to be leaving the school anyway, and if the newcomers want to deal with the issues we left them with then they can go right ahead and do just that.
Anyways, I'd have to say the most interesting part of my day was biology. After we graded our homework and took a few notes we watched a video about how DNA is being used to give African Americans an idea of their genealogy and where they came from. It's so amazing to think that we've come so far in science that we can now take a DNA sample and trace those genes centuries into the past. Some of the African Americans participating in this study (and in the movie) were Tina Turner, Chris Rock, Morgan Freeman, and Maya Angelou.
I sat at my desk, transfixed at what I was watching. To be honest I was shocked to find that most of the African Americans who did the DNA test had at least 1/3 European ancestry. Their reactions were most interesting, because it all came as a shock to them to know that they had so much white in them. Maya Angelou had by far been the most perceptive of her past. When the DNA test showed she was a Zole, she calmly stated that she had known this, and proceeded into a story of a trip to Africa she once took. The others, I believe, were simply glad to finally have a claim of African descent, to be able to say that they had an ancestor that truly did come from a tribe in Africa. I teared up at some parts, because I felt that this newfound knowledge was ruining so many things the testers believed in. Especially when they tested them for traces of Native American for the testers. A lot of those results turned out bad -- many of those who had believed they had Native American blood in them found out that they had zero percent. I was upset at the thought that the scientists who had done the DNA tests just ripped up the bulwark of beliefs in these people.
And then I thought, "What if I found out I actually wasn't Hawaiian? What if no one in my family is Hawaiian?" I couldn't help but let the thoughts ravage through my head. What if I actually had been lied to all my life? I know that I'm Hawaiian through my grandmother on my mom's side, but how far does that trace go back? Am I really related to King Kamehameha's eighth wife like my grandmother claims? All of these thoughts made me want to get myself tested, to find out my own genealogy.
To think that I actually can though, is quite frightening.
Anyways, after biology school was over and I immediately headed toward the front where I knew my mother was waiting in her van. She was eating a hamburger from McDonald's when I got inside the car and the smell of food made me realize just how hungry I was. She drove me t Carl's Jr. to get a guacamole burger. Our conversation on the way there provided some closure to some issues I was having that I hadn't quite gotten over.
It started off with my mother showing me her new boots (Uggs, in case you want to know) and she told me that I should get a new pair that are flat so I can wear them in New York. From there the conversation turned to what happened on Friday with our little shopping spree with Danielle and Alexa. I told my mom exactly what had been bothering me and why, by the end of it, I refused to shop any longer. I also told her that I would be willing to go shopping again if it didn't turn into an issue on my appearance.
I'm really glad I got that stuff into the open with her, because now I feel a whole lot better.
After we got my food she dropped me off at home and after I ate I went upstairs to get on the computer. Then I took a nap around five, hoping to get up at five thirty but sleeping until six thirty instead, then took another short nap before heading off to dance. Practice didn't last as long as it normally does because Sami hasn't completely finished the new routine so we could only learn a little of it, and we didn't really need to practice our current performance because we all knew it. Oh, which reminds me, I have to wear my uniform tomorrow.
When dance was over I came home, finished homework, and am now just relaxing before I fall asleep. I've got a big day tomorrow though, so I should go. Toodles.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Sunday is a Homework Day
So today didn't start off so well... I woke up crying from the dream I had that I don't remember, and the fight that started between me and Doran lasted through the night so I woke up angry too. Alexa spent the night again, but she was already up babysitting Westley.
Well, I started doing my homework while waiting for Doran to get online -- I wasn't intending on talking to him because I was still upset, but I wanted to see if he would try to talk to me. About ten or so minutes after he signed on (at 1:36 PM, I remember), he said hello to me. After that, things kind of went to crap. I won't give the details, just in case he doesn't want me to, but I can say how I felt about the whole thing.
He was very upset about what I did the night before and we started talking about it. I kept provoking him, egging him on, trying to get him truly mad at me. I wanted him mad. I wanted to fight with someone. I wanted to scream, to cry, to get completely angry. So I kept saying things that I knew would get to him. It's sadistic and cruel, but I needed it. He'll probably hate me for reading this too. Mfg.
This whole argument lasted until around three or three thirty. By that time I had stopped trying to focus on homework. I was exhausted and I felt like sleeping. I also didn't feel like arguing anymore. I had hit the point I needed to hit in order to feel better. So I caved and apologized for everything.
I felt a lot better afterwards. I got everything out there and we were able to move on with the rest of the day. I finished most of my homework, Sheldon went over to his house to study vocab, and so far, everything seems better. Although... Some of the things he said really hurt and they're still in my thoughts, but I bet it's the same for him too. I know I can be a total b**** sometimes.
The rest of the day progressed really slowly. I did homework most of the time, and whenever I wasn't doing homework I was watching TV. Alexa babysat Westley the whole time 'cause she loves the kid so darn much and it's hard not to because he's such a cutie.
My family and I celebrated my dad's birthday by making him a cake. In all honesty, we always spend birthdays like a regular day until it gets around evening time. Then we have a cake and some ice cream and go back to what we were doing before. It's not that bad, actually. I like it because I was able to get more homework done. All I have now is Coursey's essay and I'm procrastinating on it.
Anyways, that's pretty much my day. Nothin' special, half bad, half good. Toodles.
Well, I started doing my homework while waiting for Doran to get online -- I wasn't intending on talking to him because I was still upset, but I wanted to see if he would try to talk to me. About ten or so minutes after he signed on (at 1:36 PM, I remember), he said hello to me. After that, things kind of went to crap. I won't give the details, just in case he doesn't want me to, but I can say how I felt about the whole thing.
He was very upset about what I did the night before and we started talking about it. I kept provoking him, egging him on, trying to get him truly mad at me. I wanted him mad. I wanted to fight with someone. I wanted to scream, to cry, to get completely angry. So I kept saying things that I knew would get to him. It's sadistic and cruel, but I needed it. He'll probably hate me for reading this too. Mfg.
This whole argument lasted until around three or three thirty. By that time I had stopped trying to focus on homework. I was exhausted and I felt like sleeping. I also didn't feel like arguing anymore. I had hit the point I needed to hit in order to feel better. So I caved and apologized for everything.
I felt a lot better afterwards. I got everything out there and we were able to move on with the rest of the day. I finished most of my homework, Sheldon went over to his house to study vocab, and so far, everything seems better. Although... Some of the things he said really hurt and they're still in my thoughts, but I bet it's the same for him too. I know I can be a total b**** sometimes.
The rest of the day progressed really slowly. I did homework most of the time, and whenever I wasn't doing homework I was watching TV. Alexa babysat Westley the whole time 'cause she loves the kid so darn much and it's hard not to because he's such a cutie.
My family and I celebrated my dad's birthday by making him a cake. In all honesty, we always spend birthdays like a regular day until it gets around evening time. Then we have a cake and some ice cream and go back to what we were doing before. It's not that bad, actually. I like it because I was able to get more homework done. All I have now is Coursey's essay and I'm procrastinating on it.
Anyways, that's pretty much my day. Nothin' special, half bad, half good. Toodles.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Boring Saturday
I feel like crap so this post may be short and terrible.
Today I woke up around nine in the morning because I heard Danielle on my computer. I was so groggy and disoriented that I could barely see. But slowly I woke up, and soon after jumped into the shower because I felt really gross. After I got out Danielle wanted to play dress up, so we got out a couple of my dresses and started putting them on and taking pictures. We got Alexa in on it too.
The fun part about it was the fact that I found out I still fit in the dress I wore for a seventh grade dance. But I think I must've weighed the same back then because I look like I did in the picture I have, just older. So that's kind of depressing.
Anyway, most of the time we just hung out and watched TV. Danielle monopolized the computer since Greg was on, so I talked to Doran via texting. I didn't mind just relaxing. It was nice.
Danielle left around seven I think. Alexa's staying the night again. Oh, and I found out that my class ring is going to be here on Tuesday, which I'm excited about. I can't wait to wear it. It's going to look awesome.
Not much happened today. Boring Saturday, I must say. Toodles.
Today I woke up around nine in the morning because I heard Danielle on my computer. I was so groggy and disoriented that I could barely see. But slowly I woke up, and soon after jumped into the shower because I felt really gross. After I got out Danielle wanted to play dress up, so we got out a couple of my dresses and started putting them on and taking pictures. We got Alexa in on it too.
The fun part about it was the fact that I found out I still fit in the dress I wore for a seventh grade dance. But I think I must've weighed the same back then because I look like I did in the picture I have, just older. So that's kind of depressing.
Anyway, most of the time we just hung out and watched TV. Danielle monopolized the computer since Greg was on, so I talked to Doran via texting. I didn't mind just relaxing. It was nice.
Danielle left around seven I think. Alexa's staying the night again. Oh, and I found out that my class ring is going to be here on Tuesday, which I'm excited about. I can't wait to wear it. It's going to look awesome.
Not much happened today. Boring Saturday, I must say. Toodles.
Crazy Nights
I'm getting behind on my posts. Haha. Guess I've been distracted by people.
Yesterday was really fun, except for a couple parts. I woke up around nine to finish my calculus homework and my mom dropped me off at school around 11:30, where Alexa met us at the front to put her stuff for that night into the back of the van. She talked to my mom for a little while I got my stuff out. A couple of my other friends were there and we got to talking. Then mom left and Alexa, Alex, and I headed toward the Humanities room to get warm. This was during lunch, which was kind of boring.
After lunch I had calculus and we had a sub. I don't remember his name, but he was absolutely fantastic. He basically made the first semester make more sense than Rosales ever had. I was in shock at how much he made things so simple. Plus, he did the hardest math problem with us, which was a big relief because I could understand it a lot better. I left class a very happy person.
When calc finished I made my way to choir. Class was pretty easy since we mostly reviewed songs. At one point Mariah and Nicole came in to give Choir and Chamber Singers these survey things since they're doing the Choir page in the yearbook. I filled out the questions as honestly as I could.
Thankfully school ended quickly and Alexa, Danielle, and I got into my mom's car to go on a shopping trip. I was having a good day until this part. We headed to Burlington Coat Factory to get me a new coat because my mom hates the one I have now; she says I look like a homeless person. I didn't mind it before, until Danielle and Alexa started getting on my case about it. I felt like I was on "What Not To Wear" and it wasn't a good feeling. All three of them were making fun of me and my jacket and they kept telling me that they wanted to dress me better, which really hurt my feelings. We hadn't even left the store and I felt like crying.
Then we headed to Target and by this time I had just decided not to acknowledge them at all. I kept quiet and listened to my iPod instead. We got to the mall looking for coats still and my mood lifted a tiny bit when I saw this fur one that was nice -- even though it made me look like a pimp. It was very amusing.
Then my mom wanted to get me boots, so we went to this one shoe store and my feet were hurting pretty bad and I just wanted to go home. I finally complained enough to get my mom to leave, but on the way back to the car we got into a huge argument about the way I dress.
My mom has a big problem with the way I dress. If she doesn't like something that I wear she insists on buying me something that's more fashionable. Personally, I could care less on how I look, but my mom gets pushy and mean about it and she makes me feel like crap. The matter wasn't settled either, because I still feel like that.
I mean, I don't mind when my mom wants to go shopping, but when it turns into an issue on how I dress I get upset. She got really mad at me when we got home and she screamed at me, "Fine! Go in whatever you want. It's over with!" I very much felt like crying. I just can't understand why my mom won't accept the way I dress. I don't understand why my friends can't accept the way I dress.
Does my appearance really bother you people that much? Because if it does then you've got your priorities really mixed up. If you're my friend and have issues with how I dress then you can simply leave. End of story.
Anyway, before I start crying right now just thinking about it, I'll go on. After the shopping trip, my mom brought us all home and Alexa, Danielle, and I ate food. I was so hungry. We watched TV and I fell asleep, and when I woke up the three of us walked to Safeway to get goodies. Everything was fine after that.
Once we got home we just talked about all kinds of things. We had to be very quiet most of the time to have some privacy, but it was fun. We stayed up until around two, then I fell asleep on my bed.
Well, now that I've finished with yesterday I'll end this post, and hopefully I'll be able to blog about today in a little while before I go to sleep. Toodles.
Yesterday was really fun, except for a couple parts. I woke up around nine to finish my calculus homework and my mom dropped me off at school around 11:30, where Alexa met us at the front to put her stuff for that night into the back of the van. She talked to my mom for a little while I got my stuff out. A couple of my other friends were there and we got to talking. Then mom left and Alexa, Alex, and I headed toward the Humanities room to get warm. This was during lunch, which was kind of boring.
After lunch I had calculus and we had a sub. I don't remember his name, but he was absolutely fantastic. He basically made the first semester make more sense than Rosales ever had. I was in shock at how much he made things so simple. Plus, he did the hardest math problem with us, which was a big relief because I could understand it a lot better. I left class a very happy person.
When calc finished I made my way to choir. Class was pretty easy since we mostly reviewed songs. At one point Mariah and Nicole came in to give Choir and Chamber Singers these survey things since they're doing the Choir page in the yearbook. I filled out the questions as honestly as I could.
Thankfully school ended quickly and Alexa, Danielle, and I got into my mom's car to go on a shopping trip. I was having a good day until this part. We headed to Burlington Coat Factory to get me a new coat because my mom hates the one I have now; she says I look like a homeless person. I didn't mind it before, until Danielle and Alexa started getting on my case about it. I felt like I was on "What Not To Wear" and it wasn't a good feeling. All three of them were making fun of me and my jacket and they kept telling me that they wanted to dress me better, which really hurt my feelings. We hadn't even left the store and I felt like crying.
Then we headed to Target and by this time I had just decided not to acknowledge them at all. I kept quiet and listened to my iPod instead. We got to the mall looking for coats still and my mood lifted a tiny bit when I saw this fur one that was nice -- even though it made me look like a pimp. It was very amusing.
Then my mom wanted to get me boots, so we went to this one shoe store and my feet were hurting pretty bad and I just wanted to go home. I finally complained enough to get my mom to leave, but on the way back to the car we got into a huge argument about the way I dress.
My mom has a big problem with the way I dress. If she doesn't like something that I wear she insists on buying me something that's more fashionable. Personally, I could care less on how I look, but my mom gets pushy and mean about it and she makes me feel like crap. The matter wasn't settled either, because I still feel like that.
I mean, I don't mind when my mom wants to go shopping, but when it turns into an issue on how I dress I get upset. She got really mad at me when we got home and she screamed at me, "Fine! Go in whatever you want. It's over with!" I very much felt like crying. I just can't understand why my mom won't accept the way I dress. I don't understand why my friends can't accept the way I dress.
Does my appearance really bother you people that much? Because if it does then you've got your priorities really mixed up. If you're my friend and have issues with how I dress then you can simply leave. End of story.
Anyway, before I start crying right now just thinking about it, I'll go on. After the shopping trip, my mom brought us all home and Alexa, Danielle, and I ate food. I was so hungry. We watched TV and I fell asleep, and when I woke up the three of us walked to Safeway to get goodies. Everything was fine after that.
Once we got home we just talked about all kinds of things. We had to be very quiet most of the time to have some privacy, but it was fun. We stayed up until around two, then I fell asleep on my bed.
Well, now that I've finished with yesterday I'll end this post, and hopefully I'll be able to blog about today in a little while before I go to sleep. Toodles.
Friday, January 22, 2010
So Very Interesting...
Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I was doing math homework and afterward I was so tired I just went to bed. But I'll post today about what happened yesterday!
I had to wake up early since I had core and then bio. My alarm went off at 5:30 and then 6:00 (it takes me half an hour to wake up) and took a shower. I didn't realize that I could have slept in till 6:30 because I don't leave my house until 7:30, but I was able to play around online for a while, which was nice.
While I was on my computer Doran got online. I was surprised because normally he doesn't wake up till after I'm at school, so I asked if he had woken up early to finish his Art History project. Turns out it was an all nighter he pulled, and that made me worry. He's only done this (I think) twice that I can remember, but I really don't want it to become a regular thing. He gets very cranky when he doesn't get enough sleep and it's not fun.
Anyways, soon I had to leave so I grabbed my stuff and headed out the door with my dad, who was going to drop me off at school in my brother's car since the truck is still at the shop and my brother was using a work truck. I swear though, his car is a freakin' death trap. But, I got to school safely enough.
First block was history and it wasn't all that interesting. We turned in our DBQs and finished these presentations that we had started last class. It lasted the whole block and we didn't even get to the lecture notes. English was next and we peer-edited our essays for most of the block. However, he gave us part of an essay he wrote based on the prompt and asked us to edit it for a few things he listed on the board. When he asked what needed to be changed a few minutes later, though I don't remember exactly what he said, Catalina responded to his comment with, "You can do it, you're a big boy." The class erupted in laughter at this comment, and my English teacher looked a little embarrassed.
Lunch was absolutely hilarious. Adam kept posing in a creepy manner, with his shirt unbuttoned to expose his chest. Emily took pictures on her phone. Since I didn't have anything to eat I just bummed off of everyone else, though mostly Daniel. It's kind of a tradition now to eat his food. I've been doing it for five years now.
The most interesting part of my day, however, was third block. Our new colloquium is family, and we spent most of the class talking about how we're raised and whether or not parents should raise their kids or the community (based on an article we read). At one point my teachers asked us to write down what our family heirloom would be. I put down my mom's bracelets that have my and my brother's middle names on them.
My teachers first told us what their heirlooms were. Coursey's heirloom was a mixing bowl and wooden spoon his mother would use to make chocolate chip cookies. Leslie's... well, that what made this whole thing interesting.
Leslie told us that he had an ash tray he took from his mother's house that used to be from where she worked. He then proceeded to inform us that his mom used to work for Hugh Hefner. He said she didn't pose for all those magazines or whatever, but that she was a waitress in one of his bars. But he told us that she wore the playboy bunny outfit. The class couldn't stop laughing, it was so hysterical.
The rest of my day was pretty normal. I babysat when I got home, had pizza for dinner, then did my math homework and fell asleep. Anyway, I really have to go -- I've got Calculus.
I had to wake up early since I had core and then bio. My alarm went off at 5:30 and then 6:00 (it takes me half an hour to wake up) and took a shower. I didn't realize that I could have slept in till 6:30 because I don't leave my house until 7:30, but I was able to play around online for a while, which was nice.
While I was on my computer Doran got online. I was surprised because normally he doesn't wake up till after I'm at school, so I asked if he had woken up early to finish his Art History project. Turns out it was an all nighter he pulled, and that made me worry. He's only done this (I think) twice that I can remember, but I really don't want it to become a regular thing. He gets very cranky when he doesn't get enough sleep and it's not fun.
Anyways, soon I had to leave so I grabbed my stuff and headed out the door with my dad, who was going to drop me off at school in my brother's car since the truck is still at the shop and my brother was using a work truck. I swear though, his car is a freakin' death trap. But, I got to school safely enough.
First block was history and it wasn't all that interesting. We turned in our DBQs and finished these presentations that we had started last class. It lasted the whole block and we didn't even get to the lecture notes. English was next and we peer-edited our essays for most of the block. However, he gave us part of an essay he wrote based on the prompt and asked us to edit it for a few things he listed on the board. When he asked what needed to be changed a few minutes later, though I don't remember exactly what he said, Catalina responded to his comment with, "You can do it, you're a big boy." The class erupted in laughter at this comment, and my English teacher looked a little embarrassed.
Lunch was absolutely hilarious. Adam kept posing in a creepy manner, with his shirt unbuttoned to expose his chest. Emily took pictures on her phone. Since I didn't have anything to eat I just bummed off of everyone else, though mostly Daniel. It's kind of a tradition now to eat his food. I've been doing it for five years now.
The most interesting part of my day, however, was third block. Our new colloquium is family, and we spent most of the class talking about how we're raised and whether or not parents should raise their kids or the community (based on an article we read). At one point my teachers asked us to write down what our family heirloom would be. I put down my mom's bracelets that have my and my brother's middle names on them.
My teachers first told us what their heirlooms were. Coursey's heirloom was a mixing bowl and wooden spoon his mother would use to make chocolate chip cookies. Leslie's... well, that what made this whole thing interesting.
Leslie told us that he had an ash tray he took from his mother's house that used to be from where she worked. He then proceeded to inform us that his mom used to work for Hugh Hefner. He said she didn't pose for all those magazines or whatever, but that she was a waitress in one of his bars. But he told us that she wore the playboy bunny outfit. The class couldn't stop laughing, it was so hysterical.
The rest of my day was pretty normal. I babysat when I got home, had pizza for dinner, then did my math homework and fell asleep. Anyway, I really have to go -- I've got Calculus.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Oh Wondrous Glorious Sleep
I haven't had such wonderful sleep in a long time. Sure, I went to bed around 12:30 or 1 o' clock last night, but I slept in until ten, because today was a B-Day Wednesday and I don't have two first blocks open. The only bad thing about waking up at this time was that I had two hours to do homework and I had issues focusing. All I wanted to do was relax and watch a movie before I headed off to Calculus and Choir.
Danielle came over around 10:30 and we sat up in my room doing a DBQ that our history teacher assigned us. I only had one body paragraph done and by the time I was done I had two. So much for getting stuff finished.
After failed attempts to continue, she and I went downstairs to get something to eat, and once we were finished I got my stuff and we headed to school. Thankfully it wasn't really raining, so getting to school was easy. I actually wore boots today -- kind of a big change for me, but I didn't want my feet to get wet.
Shortly after arriving we headed to the AP room where all of our friends normally hang out. The conversation that occurred in there was... well, interesting, to say the least. Adam rambled on about Lucky brand jeans that have a message in the zipper -- on girls' zippers it says, "Lucky you" and on boys' zippers it says, "Get lucky." We couldn't help but laugh, but after a few minutes I told him that on the boys' zipper it should say, "I'm sorry." However, I won't go into what I meant... Just in case. The rest of our conversation resulted in... well, I won't go into that either.
Anyways, once lunch ended I headed for Calculus. Class didn't go so well and I almost ended up crying.. My teacher told us that last night the school board voted to have only one Salutatorian this year instead of everyone who got a 3.8 or above all four years of high school. Instead the honor goes to the person with the second highest GPA. I'm really pissed about it because I was looking forward to getting recognized for all the hard work I did throughout all the high school hell. It's annoying now that only one (or a few, if they all have the same GPA) person. What's more annoying is the fact that the Salutatorian is in my Calculus class.
Sometimes I really hate the school board.
Anyways, despite that, I had a somewhat good day. Choir was funny because of something I said to Katheryn (which I will not repeat on here) and because I kept annoying the hell out of Mario. The bad part was Schrader yelling at us to shut up -- which I can totally understand why she did because some people have an incessant need to talk every time we stop singing. It's irritating and bothersome when certain sections need to get their freakin' part right. The one good thing about the amount of time people won't shut up is that I can sight read the parts we haven't learned yet and get the gist of how it goes. ^.^
After school Danielle took me home and I relaxed for a little, took a nap, then cranked out the rest of my DBQ. Then I had to go to dance and the power surges freaked us out. Now I have to do my essay for English and my lab report for Bio. Gah, homework is going to kill me. Anyway, toodles.
Danielle came over around 10:30 and we sat up in my room doing a DBQ that our history teacher assigned us. I only had one body paragraph done and by the time I was done I had two. So much for getting stuff finished.
After failed attempts to continue, she and I went downstairs to get something to eat, and once we were finished I got my stuff and we headed to school. Thankfully it wasn't really raining, so getting to school was easy. I actually wore boots today -- kind of a big change for me, but I didn't want my feet to get wet.
Shortly after arriving we headed to the AP room where all of our friends normally hang out. The conversation that occurred in there was... well, interesting, to say the least. Adam rambled on about Lucky brand jeans that have a message in the zipper -- on girls' zippers it says, "Lucky you" and on boys' zippers it says, "Get lucky." We couldn't help but laugh, but after a few minutes I told him that on the boys' zipper it should say, "I'm sorry." However, I won't go into what I meant... Just in case. The rest of our conversation resulted in... well, I won't go into that either.
Anyways, once lunch ended I headed for Calculus. Class didn't go so well and I almost ended up crying.. My teacher told us that last night the school board voted to have only one Salutatorian this year instead of everyone who got a 3.8 or above all four years of high school. Instead the honor goes to the person with the second highest GPA. I'm really pissed about it because I was looking forward to getting recognized for all the hard work I did throughout all the high school hell. It's annoying now that only one (or a few, if they all have the same GPA) person. What's more annoying is the fact that the Salutatorian is in my Calculus class.
Sometimes I really hate the school board.
Anyways, despite that, I had a somewhat good day. Choir was funny because of something I said to Katheryn (which I will not repeat on here) and because I kept annoying the hell out of Mario. The bad part was Schrader yelling at us to shut up -- which I can totally understand why she did because some people have an incessant need to talk every time we stop singing. It's irritating and bothersome when certain sections need to get their freakin' part right. The one good thing about the amount of time people won't shut up is that I can sight read the parts we haven't learned yet and get the gist of how it goes. ^.^
After school Danielle took me home and I relaxed for a little, took a nap, then cranked out the rest of my DBQ. Then I had to go to dance and the power surges freaked us out. Now I have to do my essay for English and my lab report for Bio. Gah, homework is going to kill me. Anyway, toodles.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Rain Rain Go Away
This is my first post on my new blog that hopefully people will read. If you are reading it, comment! Leave me messages! ^.^
So today it rained like never before. The constant downpour last night almost kept me up all night but thankfully only woke me up once this morning at 4:45. I promptly fell asleep again when the thunder finished booming.
Unfortunately, I had a full day of school today, and the rain still fell hard against the earth. Plus, I have no car to drive, because the one I do drive has been having problems with its radiator fluid (in other words, leaking). So my dad had to drive me to school in my mom's van, then drive back home so he could get driven to work by my mom. It didn't occur to me until today how much humans depend on electronic devices such as cars. Kind of a quiet revelation on my way to school.
When I arrived the school seemed almost deserted. There were a few kids getting rained on and a couple who were intelligent enough to stand under the awning. I decided that I really didn't want to get my AP notebooks wet so I made the journey all the way across the school to my AP classrooms. The sky above looked too gloomy and absymal to my taste, and the wet wind bit my exposed skin though I tried to hide behind protective pillars.
I got to the AP rooms within a few minutes and only one other person was standing there huddled behind her umbrella. We talked for a few minutes about a blog she has (http://17muses.blogspot.com/) when finally our English teacher showed up and unlocked his door. We, and another friend of mine who had shown up a few minutes before, rushed into the classroom before we could get rained on anymore.
My classes were spent in a sleepy stupor -- first block was especially difficult to get through because we had to turn off all the lights for the projector to work and it was pitch black in there due to the clouds outside. I almost fell asleep, but I forced my eyes open to focus on my teacher's face, which I could barely see. Thankfully the power didn't go out until around 3:15 or 3:20 in the afternoon. My teacher, having nothing else to give us that didn't require use of power, let us go early.
I would have liked this prospect much better if it weren't for the fact that I had to stay at the school until five anyway because of Chamber Singers. But I dealt with that and spent my free time in the band room until school officially ended.
Chamber Singers was an epic fail because none of the newbies except for Karen and Becca showed up. I really hate that, because our teacher sent a message over Facebook to everyone reminding them about rehearsal and they still didn't come. I really feel as if we should just remove those people for being ignorant and forgetful, because it really sets us back and we only have one practice per week. I wouldn't mind having another practice per week, but trying to find a day that works for all twelve girls is impossible.
We all left early though, which brightened my mood. Poor Becca's road was flooded so she had to go and since only seven of us came we just decided to call it a day. The rest of my day isn't that interesting, to be honest. I babysat for a little, role played a little, and talked to friends a little. Then I wrote this post.
So, now that I have no more to say, I'm going to head off and go do homework. Toodles.
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